only human
by Sammy088
Summary: Dean's death left only darkness in Sam's bright filled soul. He wanted to forget ever having hunted but when a blue eyed stranger recruits him to help prevent a war against heaven, he only does so to get Dean back. He never expected to fall for him. SASSY
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER ONE***

Piercing blue eyes.

If Sam hadn't made a mistake that near fatal Thursday, he honestly wouldn't have found himself looking into them and he most likely wouldn't even find himself wondering about them even though it was now Tuesday morning and his brother was absently typing something into the lab top, what Sam didn't want to know unless it had something to do about their recent case.

"Dean, did I ever say how-"

"Sam if you want to bribe me again, it better be more than just sandwiches and the first shower," Dean said with a mischievous grin. "Besides the way you go on about the mysterious man with piercing blue eyes almost makes you seem, yah know, gay."

Sam spluttered and thought about dumping his coffee in Dean's lap momentarily but at the last moment decided it would be too mean. Besides, the guy wasn't just a crush. Sam wanted to thank him for saving his life when he had stupidly went after some demons without back up. Who knew they were working for Lilith anyways? He turned back to Dean, his thoughts turning back to the deal and how he was going to keep him from going to Hell.

"I'm not gay, he just saved me-"

"So it's hero worship then? Sammy most people nowadays save another because of pride. Do you honestly want to get to know the man and realize that he was a dick all along?"

Sam was quick to shake his head and Dean smirked knowingly.

"See that's my little brother. You don't want nor need that man unless this is falling back because you are mesmerized by those piercing blue eyes you keep dreaming about." Sam glared and Dean just smiled back, not at all affected by the edge Sam put behind his look this time. To him it was no more, no less one of Sammy's bitch faces. And those were completely normal by his standards anyhow.

"Common Dean I don't dream about them-"

"Sure you do," Dean interrupted. "How in the world would I know that he has piercing blue eyes or that he wears a trench coat?"

Sam froze and Dean went back to eating his burger knowing soon that Sam was going to start whining. Besides they needed to work on getting the colt back from Bella anyways and the way Sammy was acting, he still found saving Dean was far more important. Oh how he loved hero worship. He could only goad Sam so much though before he found his younger brother in one of his bitchy moods and he didn't want that but he just couldn't resist.

"So Sammy, does that mean he's replaced me in the hero worshipping department because let me know. I may need to collect payment for that otherwise you know because I don't like anyone besting me."

"Dean, I don't have a fricking crush on the guy!" Noticing that everyone else was looking there way now, Sam quickly hid his face behind a menu and mumbled a, "I so hate you." As everyone else settled down now that the little moment seemed to be over, Dean couldn't help but smirk.

"Are ya sure you don't want to find him Sammy? What if he likes you back? He could love you. He could want to have your kids with you-"

"I'm not a fucking girl!" Sam muttered from behind the menu. Dean quickly stopped, catching himself amidst another joke and knowing Sam wouldn't take it well, he paused. Sam was going to calm soon anyways because even though he acted like a little PMSing girl at times, he still was his brother and he still admitted that he didn't act like he PMSed too much.

Seeing Sam tuck the menu away and started to dig into a cheese cake, Dean's face softened. How long were they going to have times like this before he went to Hell and left his brother all alone? How could he leave him alone when there was that Ruby bitch out there and wouldn't hesitate to manipulate him? He didn't want to go to Hell but he knew even worse he couldn't just leave his brother dead.

He paused again, glancing back over to his searches and suddenly found a suitable hunt that he thought they would actually enjoy. He smiled back over to Sam for a moment before deciding that Sam was calmed down enough.

"You know what they say about eyes and windows to the soul right?" He didn't expect to find a piece of cheese cake flung at his face nor did he really expect his brother to carry on and ignore him right afterwards. When he raised an eyebrow in surprise, Sam gave him his usual bitch face.

"I don't really care about souls and eyes and being the windows to the soul crap Dean. I told you, I do not have feelings for that guy-"

"Okay so he was really ugly," Dean interrupted hiding a smile by averting his glance and biting his lip.

"No, he really isn't-You set me up," Dean laughed out loud and didn't even complain when he got more than a piece of cheese cake in his face.

Goading his brother was just too priceless to pass up and he most certainly ninety nine percent of the time took the bait. His poor baby brother just couldn't win.

* * *

"Why the hell are we at this abandoned place anyways Dean?"

Dean rolled his eyes and pushed his brother forward. He brought his sawed off shot gun out just in case. Supposedly this was supposed to be really haunted and to make matters worse, kids were coming here and disappearing like crazy. Sam let this go and followed the other hunter with his own sawed off, turning to make sure there was nothing behind them.

"You always have my back Sammy, that's why you're my number one. Too bad you replaced yours with that blue eyed man-"

"Dean I wish you would stop teasing me about this. I told you already that I just want to thank him. He saved my life so he should be like a friend in your book."

Dean rolled his eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time since he heard about this man. Sure he really felt bad about teasing the kid but if he hadn't been such an easy target, then Dean wouldn't have had to do it. This was going to toughen his brother up and somebody had to do it right? Dean mentally shrugged. He just loved to think of reasons why it was legitimate for picking on Sam. That and he was his big brother, that was actually a rule somewhere in there about teasing younger brothers just like the fact that little brothers annoyed the hell out of bigger brothers.

"Well I would but seeing as how you keep dreaming about him-"

"Okay, well screw you!"

Dean smirked once again and followed behind him, taking out the EMF as he went along. This house was really old and it came to show how often that someone actually came in even to clean it since there was dust everywhere. Hearing the sneeze that no doubt came from his brother, he quietly cursed his brother's allergies before quickly leading him to the stairs by his jacket.

"You've taken your allergy meds right? I don't want you having respiratory issues because your breathing in this shit," Dean added hiding his concern behind his usual I don't care attitude but it never did fool Sam. He just smiled and that puppy dog expression was back making Dean wished he was more like dad when it came to being immune to them. "Yeah, yeah, just don't have one of your usual attacks alright and then we could find that stupid trench coated man and thank him. You're sort of right, anyone who kicks ass for my little brother is good in my books. Maybe you could even marry him."

Sam's smile turned into a glare and Dean laughed.

"Couldn't resist Sammy. You know how much I love it."

"Obviously," Sam said rolling his eyes this time. Dean mentally counted, Sam one and Dean about two thousand. Seriously they needed to find a hobby if Dean was busy counting the times they both rolled their eyes at each other.

"So I haven't been getting any EMF maybe it's a demon."

Sam nodded.

"Or maybe we're missing something. Can't be all that hard to hide from EMF, huh?"

"Name one ghost who did and I'll buy you a chocolate cake," Dean said jokingly.

Sam opted to change the subject and Dean told himself it wasn't because Sam knew he wasn't going to get the cake. He was an awesome brother who kept his promises and whatever Sam wanted he got, which was why they were going to thank a stranger for being even creepier than Ruby. He paused, trying to erase that image from his head. Ruby or the stranger? Seriously? He'd pick neither any day and the fact that Sam was smitten over both because they saved his life didn't say anything at all.

"Why'd you stop dude?" Sam asked once Dean caught back up with him.

"I had a horrible mental image of that blue eyed stranger and Ruby. Hey doesn't she have blue eyes as well? She's a blondie too as I recall." He turned over to Sam who looked as though he was caught between a nightmare and hearing this from his brother. "You have a thing for blondes. Is he blonde?"

"No Dean, he isn't. But then I was also only half conscious that the time so give me some slack."

Dean smiled.

"You were and you still remembered the blue eyes thing. My brother is in love," he announced to the house basically.

Sam slapped a hand to his forehead dramatically.

"I do love you Dean but sometimes you make me wonder why I don't shoot you."

Dean laughed and followed him into the next room. They were getting nowhere fast. Of course Sam was bluffing and would never do any of what he had said but a part of him wondered what it would be like when he was no longer in his life again. He knew something happened when Sam said he had gone through so many Tuesdays and Dean wondered if there was more to it than that. He was more clingy than he should be.

"This is going to be such a cinchy hunt bro," Dean announced making Sam stop on the spot and Dean nearly run into him. "Dude, could you keep moving?"

"Dean, we shouldn't announce ourselves. Besides I hear a ticking," Sam said ever so slowly.

Dean nodded and they continued to walk towards the closet in the hallway. The ticking got louder the closer they got until they noticed that there was a timer attached. It read fifty three seconds and knowing the huge house they've been going through, there was no way they were going to get back in time. If this really was a bomb, they were screwed.

"Run Sam," Dean replied after a pause. The time was down to fifty seconds before Dean pushed Sam and they started to hurry towards any exit they could find.

Sam struggled not to grab Dean's wrist to bring him comfort that he was around but knowing Dean he would find it weird. He pushed open a door not finding Dean anywhere around him but he did find a basement. He groaned and slammed it shut, trying to push apart the window. He knew he was running out of time and he ran into the kitchen area, pausing when he thought he saw a figure outside. Turning back to his watch he knew it had to have been at least forty seconds now. He dropped his watch and kicked at the window, although it didn't budge. These windows had to have been bullet proof. He quickly headed towards the door and searched around for his brother to see if he went this way.

"DEAN!"

He couldn't hear a single word. He found himself being pulled out of the door and thrashed about madly until he saw Dean himself looking at him in confusion. They were out of the house though and they should be fine. He quickly remembered the ticking and snatched his wrist, convincing him that they had to get away from the front door. They quickly dropped in the grass and covered their heads and were suddenly glad too with the whole house exploding like that.

Sam went to laugh but didn't see Dean anywhere at all. He had just had him in view. Looking around with a start, he came to the sudden cold realization that he was all alone and he was no longer in sight. His body started trembling as he watched as the fire from the bomb lit the house ablaze and there was no way that he could go back in there. Where the hell was his brother? He suddenly felt like he had had a bucket of iced water dropped on him. Dean was here and then he was not. There was no reason for it, but in the time that they were separated could something have happened- He shook his head because he couldn't believe it. His brother was alright and he just had to look but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense and then a memory came to him that brought more chills to him.

Dean hadn't even been here for a month and he more than likely could have imagined this. This was his mind making up for the fact that his brother was gone and he didn't want to think about it, the blue eyed man in the trench coat had something to do with it though and he could only think that maybe he get the answers from him. But why Dean? Why'd he have to die again and leave him all alone? He couldn't handle it anymore and let the first thing fall from his lips before he could stop himself.

"DEAN!"

It didn't matter because he wasn't really here. He hadn't been here and he more than likely disobeyed Bobby's order to stay there with him again. He crumpled to the ground and found tears flowing down his cheeks. He just wanted his brother, he wanted Dean back.

He wanted this nightmare to end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER TWO***

"Bobby, yeah I'm fine."

Sam wasn't but he wouldn't tell Bobby that. Most of the time he thought his brother was once again besides him so how could he honestly be okay? He couldn't let Bobby know that though. Not when he was doing all he could for him already. Biting his lip, he nodded his head and answered yeah to all his questions even though some of them were obviously lies.

He was obviously tired of waking up and realizing he was alone. He reasoned Dean died at least knowing his younger brother was safe but it didn't give him any comfort, instead it made him even more upset. Dean didn't want to die, he wanted to be here too.

"Sam, are you sure you're okay boy? There isn't any shame in admitting that you ain't-"

"You know Bobby there has been some setbacks but I'm feeling pretty good today. I hear Lilith had disappeared."

Bobby heaved a sigh.

"Boy I thought you said you gave up on hunting. Are you or are you not really because if you don't I could hook you up with a long time hunting pal of mine-"

"No Bobby, I just heard rumors. I didn't hear from her since," he paused wondering how he was ever going to say that Dean died without making a single tear fall. He felt foolish always crying and eyed his pristine bandage he had to wrap around his wrist after punching a mirror the other day. Dropping the hand to his lap, he thought back to that day and half of it came out like a blank. Finally after biting his lip partially raw and drawing blood, he continued. "Ever since that day I haven't heard anything about her terrorizing anyone."

There was silence and then Bobby spoke up as if hesitantly.

"You know that Dean's your brother, right? You could stand to mention his name once in a while cause even though he's dead doesn't mean he's stopped right?"

"Right Bobby," Sam just went along with it but tears were already gathering just at hearing the name once again. In a dreamlike state, he wondered if Dean would really be happy to know Sam was giving up hunting. It wasn't because he wanted a normal life though because he knew he would never get normal, he just couldn't stand the thought of hunting with someone else and coming across all those memories. It still tore at his heart every time.

"And you make sure you eat every day and sleep right too. And call me! Ya idjit." With that Bobby hung up and left Sam to flip his phone shut. He had to fight back the tears as he smiled at the last word Bobby used. More than not, it was Dean being called that. Now he just wanted to forget.

Reaching for the sleeping pills he reminded himself that if he forgot he wouldn't feel and feeling was what was causing him the pain anyways. Swallowing back two, he thought back to Bobby's concern for his mental health and found himself laughing out loud. If by sleeping, he meant with the aid of sleeping pills, then Sam was definitely doing alright.

* * *

Bobby hung up and brought a hand up to his cap wondering what it was with that boy. He was nowhere near alright with the death of his brother but every time he tried to help him, he felt himself more likely to shoot a hole in his foot. Stubborn Winchesters, he groused.

He turned to the window, wondering if maybe he was being too harsh on the younger one. His brother did go to hell and he was right. The reason Lilith stopped becoming a problem was because she was already disposed of. There was no way he was going to tell Sam that in the mental state he was in. He didn't even call in yesterday until midnight and then he was extremely drunk, even Bobby could tell something had went on. Something with Dean never coming back, a bomb, and wanting to die. Of course he finally talked him into sleeping it off but it still broke his heart that the youngest thought about dying as well.

He came to the realization as soon as Sam started crying through the phone that Dean was selfish. He couldn't stand to see his brother dead, so he made a deal with the cross roads demon in order to bring his brother back to him. He forgot one thing though and that was the fact that Sam was now in the same situation only he couldn't make any deals whatsoever and he was hit with Dean's death a lot worse than Dean was with Sam. Sure it hurt but Sam was alive and healthy although he couldn't be sure that he was well.

Sighing, he went over and grabbed some of his best bourbon in the house and drank straight from the bottle. When was Sam just going to admit that he would rather be here and have some support to fall on? Those boys were like sons to him and just wanted the youngest to stop hurting.

He almost groaned when he heard the doorbell . He swore if it were another person asking him to buy their merchandise, he was going to stick a gun in that person's face. Looking in the peep hole, he saw a strange sight indeed. A man with a trench coat definitely wasn't unusual, he thought rolling his eyes. The man looked as though he had nothing better to do than to stare at the door so Bobby finally opened it and stared at him.

If it were going to be a staring contest, then Bobby conceded first because the man looked like he was going to win indefinitely. He was also very strange. Bobby couldn't place his finger on it but there was something about him as well, something very familiar and Bobby didn't want to think about it at first.

"Well are you going to tell me your business?"

The man just stared for a second before pausing and finally blinking. The unblinking thing had been starting to scare Bobby so he was glad the guy finally did that.

"Oh, you want to know why I'm here. Of course. I'm looking for Samuel Winchester and you are the one best to know his whereabouts."

Bobby's eyes gleamed in sadness for all but one nanosecond before his face hardened and he slammed the door closed. Whoever he was, he best forget it, he thought angrily. He was about to reach for his drink in the kitchen when he noticed the man inside his house!

"What the hell-"

"I take that as an insult, I'm nothing like Hell," he replied and Bobby paused before picking up his shot gun and aiming it at him.

"You better start explaining why the hell you are in my house!"

The man was definitely calm and seemed to possess a certain patience that Bobby certainly did not. He waited a moment and Bobby didn't waste any time in shooting him. He thought later that it was self-defense and he thought him a threat but it was more than that. He wanted to keep this man far away from Sam as possible. That boy had enough sorrow as it was and he wasn't going to give him anymore.

"Stay away from Sam!"

The man sighed as though this was time consuming and Bobby just wondered why the bullets didn't seem to faze him. Even demons bled and this guy was looking as though the bullets were more of a nuisance than anything else.

"I believe we could spend more time talking instead of hurting my feelings. No mortal made weapon could kill me."

"You're not human," Bobby surmised.

The man at least had the decency to smile.

"I'm Castiel, the angel of Thursday. I've come looking for Sam Winchester for he could be in danger and-"

"That boy gave up hunting you twit!" Bobby told him suddenly feeling beyond mad. The kid was so hurt over his brother's death, he didn't know what else he could do to keep Sam from dying as well. When one died, the other didn't do well and it was only a matter of time before the other went as well. Didn't this angel understand? If he was even an angel, he thought.

"I can bring his brother back so what is the problem?" Castiel asked as though he thought nothing was more important than what he had come here for. At Bobby's look he continued. "I could bring Dean Winchester back but first I need Sam's help. There is a war between heaven and we're trying to keep it low key as possible, possibly thwarting the angels-"

"What the hell do the angels got to do with Sam?" Bobby interrupted demanding a full answer from the angel. By golly, he was making him mad.

"They want to start the apocalypse and if it comes to pass Sam and Dean would be sucked in as well. We were thinking of bringing Dean back before this war started to break out and I didn't want Dean to be brought back only to be in the middle of it so we stop the war and bring his brother back-"

"And what the hell is that going to accomplish?" Bobby had to ask. "That boy is already out of his mind and you're here telling me that you had been thinking of bringing him back? Really? Thinking?"

"There's no thinking about it Bobby, I'm going to bring him back and we are going to hold that side of the bargain. I'm working with a couple of angels, one of which likes to play incredible pranks on people. He's not very much into people interaction so I came instead to talk you into giving the location."

Bobby didn't like the look and decided he was being arrogant. By golly, if things were bad before with hell and demons, then Dean's death, now there was an angel who was cocky! Throwing his arms up, he decided to think of some way he could delay him and then call Sam to warn him there was a cocky looking angel coming to get him.

"I know him so it's okay. I saved him when they foolishly hunted down Lilith and as a result Dean was sent to hell four months early. Shame too since I heard he was the most arrogant of the brothers."

Bobby snorted.

"You're barking up the wrong tree angel. You put a hand on his brother and you'll have me to contend with. They may not be my biological sons' but-"

"You view them as such and you only want to protect them. I understand it is the only reason I don't just get the answer from someone else. You could help me Bobby. I know you have a habit of protecting them fully but you don't have to worry about me. I saved Sam like I said and I will continue to keep him from harm's way-"

"Yeah right? You and what army?"

Castiel looked confused.

"I don't have an army."

Bobby let out a laugh before he could stop himself. He muttered a damn it although the angel was very confused as to why he laughed about his reply. He raised an eyebrow and seemed to be trying to find the answer but Bobby spoke up again before he could even think any more on the issue.

"So I tell you where Sam is and then what? You are going to pop over there and bring him on your little fairy tale adventure?"

Castiel shook his head.

"I was going to ask him to go on a mission with me-"

"Fuck! You angels are lost when it comes to sarcasm isn't it?" Castiel seemed to smile at that and then recognition showed in his eyes and he let out a small laugh and yet he didn't look like he thought it was funny.

"Right, that was sarcasm so you'll tell me where he is?"

Bobby sighed.

What was it with this angel and the fact that subtlety was lost on him.

* * *

Sam was loading the car up, no longer wanting to stay and experience anymore of the New Hampshire weather. He wanted someplace cold and dreary so that he could reflect on things more easily. How could he here when everyone else was going on their busy day laughing with family and friends?

"Hey Sam."

He turned around and faced Ruby. He sighed and turned back to the trunk, ignoring her for the favor of pretending that she really was gone. She smiled brightly and leant into the trunk, closing it so he would have to face her.

"I don't want to talk to you right now Ruby."

"Right because anyone else cares about what you are going through? Your brother's gone Sam and I told you there is nothing you could do to bring him back-"

"DON'T SAY THAT TO ME!" Sam reared back and slammed her against the trunk before almost losing his grip on her. He glared but her smile didn't lose her edge. She continued to stare up at him with such an innocent smile, that Sam shoved her away. "I don't want anything to do with witches, demons, and hell. It's over for me. Dean was the reason I picked this back up and now he is gone and I've lost interest. Go find someone else to help you kill Lilith Ruby."

"Well she's dead, that is the weird thing isn't it Sam?" When Sam looked back in shock she smiled smugly and continued on. "Lilith is dead but Sam, Dean is still gone and you are all alone. I wonder why no one else thought to tell you. Maybe they knew you would angst over it some more or maybe you would want to join your brother in hell-"

"How did this happen?" Sam whispered, quickly throwing his things in the trunk now before closing it and shoving Ruby out of the way to put the duffle in the back seat. She sighed.

"Sam, you need to focus, I'm sure he could come back-"

"Come back? You lied Ruby! You said he would be saved from hell and yet you let him go! How could I trust you anymore-"

"I didn't tell you to go after Lilith though and that is why you lost your brother. You didn't listen to me boy and now you are going to feel that hurt for the rest of your life."

Sam quickly turned back to her and she smiled. Of course there was just the thing to get the little Winchester to listen, she told herself. And it was reminding him how he failed to save his brother from hell.

"I'm sorry that your brother is dead. I really him but if you want to help him we could still find a way to fix it."

Sam shook his head.

"I told you if you wanted me to help you, you should have kept Dean alive. I'm not in the hunting business anymore." He turned and looked her way before continuing. "I quit."

She laughed.

"I'm sure you did. You failed at keeping someone you love and now you lost your brother. Is there anything you could do right?"

"I could watch after myself. I've been doing that just fine."

She snorted but he couldn't hear her anymore. He left without another single word and even though Ruby was mad, she knew that she would get him one way or another. And hopefully before they did, she added silently. She really couldn't afford this.

She had a schedule to keep after all and her plans were changed unexpectedly as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like the grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER THREE***

Ellen was a gracious host, too bad that he didn't care much for a woman who was bitter because of her husband's death. Ever since the road house was rebuilt, costumers came but it just wasn't the same somehow and that was another thing that he observed. A lot of hunters were in the area and knowing Cas, he would most likely go for the boy's surrogate uncle and never once to stop to think about how the guy would feel about him coming on too strong like that.

He took another sip though and marveled on how three angels against an entire celestial force on heaven was very unmatched. At least they had an archangel on their side he mused. Like he acted like one though. He was very much into making people into personal jokes and whilst it was justified, angels just shouldn't be like that. Sometimes he felt he was the one keeping those two from going over the top but then again Cas didn't have a house in Malibu or France. Even Italy he thought with a smile to his face. Oh how he loved to hide from his brother sometimes for he had such a stick up his ass and needed to get laid at least once.

"Hey, another bit of brandy good lady?"

She smiled although he was sure it was forced and his smile widened. Sure they didn't like him but they didn't like half the customers they got and he was sure just like with the rest, they were grinning and bearing it whilst wishing that they were as popular as they once had been. The ringing in his pocket forced him to mentally curse his brother for getting them these things even if they were a chick magnet.

Come to think about it, half the time was spent cursing poor, naïve, and annoying Castiel. He sighed and answered it knowing if he delayed it, Cas would most likely pop in and expose them to the masses. They weren't supposed to be on earth right now anyways.

"Balthazar speaking, now tell me you have something."

"If I had something Balthazar I would have brought him."

Balthazar quickly cursed, putting his phone back away and let him sit right next to him before motioning for them to get the angel a drink as well. When Cas only raised an eyebrow, Balthazar just smiled warmly.

"You'll just have to trust me dear brother, this stuff is good."

Cas looked like he didn't believe him and gulped it down without a second thought, blue eyes a lit in determination. Balthazar dropped the act since the angel was really starting to annoy him somewhat fierce and that was an amazing feat for anyone to do. He quickly gulped down his drink before turning back to him with a quizzical expression.

"So you lost the Winchester, got Singer dearest mad, and in all that still ended up getting shot with a gun?"

"I find your questioning highly irritating. I found the one he was at but he was gone and it looks like that demon Ruby has been trying to get him to follow her. He's quit hunting as well so it stands to reason that she's trying to get him back in."

"So you fail at doing anything right but a demon is still getting more success than you? Maybe we should start rewarding demons with metals. You think they would stop being annoying and killing machines?"

Cas looked highly annoyed and Balthazar laughed.

"Come on buddy, nobody wants you looking gloom especially with that blondie looking your way."

Cas didn't take the hint and he didn't turn to look her way either. Balthazar mused that it would be taking a lot harder than he thought to get the large stick out of Castiel's incredibly tight ass. That girl obviously wouldn't do it and the question remained, was Castiel even straight? He could be a closet gay angel for all Balthazar knew. He sure didn't express interest in the opposite sex. Maybe he should find him a perfect man then.

"Where's Gabe? He knows that I hate him coming late."

Balthazar felt like explaining to him the birds and the bees all over again but quickly took that thought back. The last time he just stared at them throughout the entire thing and didn't say a single thing in the matter and then afterwards he asked why they were even interested in the disgusting idea of exchanging bodily fluids. Balthazar gave up then and decided to let him fly alone on that one. Still, Gabriel shouldn't be this late.

"Maybe he actually succeeded in where you failed." Balthazar mused.

"I'm sick and tired of this new way of making fun of me. If I do a bad job, you tell me," He added and all Balthazar was reminded of was a pouty child.

"Of course, once we get the Winchester how are we going to get him to obviously help us? You seem to think that if the other side has him that the war would be lost but what kind of asset is he to us?"

"Honestly I don't know yet. All I know is that once everything has been won, his memory is going to be erased and he won't have any idea about any angels."

"Of course because it's that simple to get close to a human and then take away their memories?" Balthazar asked sarcastically.

"You act like an angel should have feelings. Of course it's going to be this way. I won't get close and Samuel will be happy to wish he doesn't remember any point in his life without his brother-"

"Except-you are right," Balthazar finally conceded.

He didn't want to explain humanity to a clueless angel who wouldn't get it even then. Instead he gulped down another drank and threw down a twenty before grabbing onto the lapel of Cas's trench coat.

The waitress looked over in interest to Cas again and Balthazar didn't think he'd hesitate to show her who the bigger man was in this situation.

It was just a pity he had work to do and a war to fight.

* * *

Sam wasn't sure why Ruby had wanted to hang out with him still since he was still a gigantic mess and his issues were bigger than her stature but she seemed to not care at all. She smiled warmly and even brought him something to eat although he didn't really want it.

"Why are you being so nice Ruby? My brother's gone and I'm not going back into hunting-"

"Sam, you know that is not true. Eventually you'll go back. It's in your blood," she added and Sam had to stop from showing how irritated he was with that sentence. "Truth be told, I heard there's some kind of war going on."

"What war?" Sam wasn't really interested but she kept talking like it was important and all, plus he wasn't going to be misinformed because he stopped listening to what the hunters knew. It kept him alive to know what to avoid. "Ruby is it anything having to do with demons?"

"No surprisingly it's not a demon on demon war. I've never actually seen them but according to rumor, there's a lot of them that are trying to jumpstart the rise of Lucifer-"

"THE DEVIL!" Sam asked hardly being able to believe his ears. "The devil is in Hell so how could they release him?"

Ruby looked up in interest and Sam forgot to feign boredom at the present conversation. She seemed to soak up this fact a lot faster than when Sam told her he wasn't going to hunt anymore. Sighing, he waited a moment for her to get on with what he wanted to hear and what she knew he wanted to hear obviously enough.

"Well there's sixty six seals and Lilith was supposed to be one of them. She's the first one that was twisted into a demon so she was very old too. It was part of the end game too but for some reason us demons think that there's other ways to bring along Lucifer. I mean all it takes is a special kind of person to be able to do it."

"Really? I have no interest in freeing the devil myself so this person you're talking about must be very important in the scheme of things."

"Just a little bit," Ruby admitted ruefully. She smiled when she saw Sam eating a little bit and he could tell she seemed pleased about something. More pleased obviously then he had about her finding a new body to possess. She claimed though that this one was very much empty and that she was the only one in that body now. "You do realize that the war has nothing to do with us demons right? I heard a rumor but I don't actually want to get it wrong."

Sam was about to answer her when the phone rang. He groaned knowing that it was most likely Bobby trying to talk to him about going over to see him. He had no intention of staying there and being reminded though. He went to lift himself up to answer the phone anyhow when he was hit with dizziness and felt the room spin a couple of times. Falling back, he looked over to Ruby to see if she was at anyway responsible for this new bout of symptoms he hadn't previously had.

"You are a lot slower now that you gave up hunting, I'll tell you that," Ruby replied with a sick smile. "You do realize that there's talk about celestial wars? It just so happens that one of them had a stake out for your head and a price attached to it as well. All I had to do was drug you and take you to him."

Sam looked at her in disbelief and Ruby just laughed, no longer hiding her true intentions from him. He should have known but like always, he was way too trusting. Seeing as he wasn't going to get to his phone standing, he tried to reach out and get it but Ruby wasn't having any of that.

"I can't have you alerting poor Bobby who may have told a couple of the angels that visited where you are." She licked her lips at the fact that everything was starting to become real fuzzy for Sam and had to slap him in the face to get him to become more alert even. He still was way too out of it thanks to her special dose. "What was the saying you were told growing up? Never trust a demon, kid. I thank you for the fact that you never listen to reason because my original plan would have had you opening the cage and releasing Lucifer yourself. Of course the war changes everything and all I have to do is hand you to one pesky angel and be done with you."

Sam would have told her to get lost and a bunch of other things that came to mind but his head felt too numb and he could hardly piece words together at the moment. That didn't stop him from looking up at her in horror realizing the fact was true. Before Ruby could continue to pull him towards her, he took the chance and spat right in her face. He fell back and hit the wall but he was released from the bitch momentarily enough that he felt that he did right by that. Black spots danced across his vision now and Ruby didn't even look mad at that, she just cleaned her face right up.

"I should really tar you for that Winchester but I've been told to take you unharmed. Don't worry there will be plenty of torture for you and you'll be sorry you ever messed with me."

Sam found consciousness finally leaving him. He knew a deeper part of his mind should be terrified but his subconscious couldn't have been more relieved.

* * *

"Oh hell, you'd think Sam would learn to pick up a phone," Bobby mumbled cursing inwardly. It was his fault for allowing the Winchester to be stubborn and have his space anyhow. Sighing, he thought back to what the angel was blubbering about when he wasn't taking anything Bobby said literally, that was and rolled his eyes. Maybe he could help, he surmised. "Castiel if you are out there, I'll tell you anything you want!"

He waited while he filled his glass half full with bourbon. He only got a sip out when the angel seemingly appeared behind him and scared the Hell out of him by putting a hand on his shoulder. He jumped and glared when he realized it was only the angel he had seen earlier.

"So Castiel, you get invited and you don't even walk to the front door now?"

Castiel looked confused and Bobby sighed telling himself not to pick a fight with the angel. Not when Sam was missing and wouldn't answer his phone calls. Damn it, he thought. He should have at least told Castiel something. Sighing, he turned back to the man who was just staring back once again and couldn't get the hang of how creepy that was.

"Okay, Sam is in trouble and I know that you have been looking out for his best interest no matter how creepy they seem," he added the last part in a mumble, not expecting Castiel to be able to hear that but quickly continued anyways, even when Castiel seemed to frown at that. "I tried calling him and he's not answering. I don't know where he is even-"

"It must be Ruby. She has definitely been in the way of things. Don't worry," he reassured. "It's just another reason she's not going to live."

Bobby rolled his eyes but that didn't stop him from regretting the fact that he called a fricking clueless angel to his kitchen. Of course the man probably thought differently. He more than possibly felt important given the fact that Bobby wouldn't say anything to help him before. What was it with angels and their arrogance anyways he thought. Maybe that was the reason why Dean and John never believed in them before. Who knew that years from then, he would have an angel conversing with him in his house?

"You seriously have got to get a hold of yourself and realize that Sam is missing and I haven't seen him since-" He paused and realized the angel was gone. Pouring some more liquor into his glass, he heaved a sigh of relief at not having to deal with him. But he did think it was obscenely rude to pop out in the middle of a conversation. "Once you find him at least send me a freaking text message!"

He didn't know if the angel heard but at least he knew he came if it were important enough. And right now? That was enough for him too.

* * *

Sam came too and found himself bound to a chair but other than that, he didn't have any other restrictions. He could move his hands around and was happy that there was no restriction to blood flow there. His legs were tied but not too tightly and he was glad for that as well. Seriously, was this Ruby's idea of a joke? He thought for a second that she was going to hurt him when he woke up and yeah, he could feel something wet trickling from the corner of his face, probably from hitting his temple during the fall when he blacked out or something, but it wasn't anything painful.

"Ruby?" he called out hearing something in the corner of his eyes.

"Wrong, try again and you don't get any points for guessing right the first time."

The voice was familiar and he wondered if this was all a dream. He groaned and fought against the rope binding him only to get a small chuckle from the person to his left. Sighing, he wondered if this was the person Ruby was dealing with. His head was pounding and he was very much liking the idea of being out of commission again until it was over but then the man had other plans or so it seemed since he lifted his face and he saw just who he was without a problem.

"The trickster? What the hell are you doing binding me to a chair?" he demanded and the trickster just started laughing. He seemed to have no qualms about what he did and Sam found himself eyeing him in disbelief. It was short lived for the shrill ring of a cell phone came on and the guy looked if anything, pissed.

It surprised him that the guy who tricked people for a living would be annoyed at something such as this, although he couldn't really blame him. Who picked ringtones such a Beethoven? His brother didn't even listen to classical music and Sam wouldn't be caught dead having picking that as the ringtone for his own phone. It only increased his curiosity and made him more determined to break out and leave before things got rough. Ruby must have been in cahoots with this crazy psycho was his reasoning.

"What is it Cassy? I'm kinda busy with lover boy in a chair so you are going to have to keep this short." He actually rolled his eyes at whoever this Cassy was and Sam found himself laughing. This was priceless although the trickster didn't seem to think so. Instead, he looked like he was starting to develop a tick the more he talked to the mysterious Cassy on the other line.

"Well what was I supposed to do? I killed the bitch that drugged him and now I'm having my fun. You do realize she was planning on giving him to that dick? Sure, Cassy I'm not going to hurt your delicate ears again, I'm sorry that you have to hear words like fuck. No I did not swear to God. Tell me a reason I shouldn't just keep him from your sight or hearing? Cassy, Jeeze I'm kidding! Fine, I'll be taking him to you in a moment."

Sam didn't know what he was talking about anymore but if he was right in his assumptions, Ruby was at least dead. The man didn't hesitate in dropping the phone into his pocket like it was poison and again Sam wondered who it was that was getting the Trickster this irritated that his right eye still hadn't recovered and was twitching even now.

"Change of plans. I was going to have some fun at your expense but Cassy reminds me that it's rude to keep them waiting for three hours while they've been searching for you. Come to think of it, I missed seeing him talk to your surrogate uncle. It would have been fun."

Sam was about to demand to know what was going on. He wanted them to stop leaving him out of the loop but it seemed that the trickster knew that he wanted answers and just smirked, his face coming a couple of inches in front of him before whispering the only words he would hear before he again found himself in a black abyss.

The words were:

"Time to learn that praying to angels all your life isn't always a bad thing kiddo."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like the grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER Four***

Sam had always taken all his problems to God even if he knew they weren't ever going to be resolved in the past because he had needed someone to believe in. With all the evil he had known, he had to believe and have faith that there were things out there that were equally good too. So when he was told that by the trickster, he had seriously thought that there was no way he could have known all that. He never was able to confront him though because he found himself out of commission once again.

Now as he opened his eyes and found that he wasn't heavily bound, he allowed himself to stand. He wasn't sick on his feet so there was no way the trickster had drugged him. He looked around the room, half shocked to find that he knew where he was. He was back at Bobby's and in the old room that he and Dean used to have whilst they were kept up here whenever their father had hunted. Sam paused, glancing at various photographs and wishing that once again, he didn't have to remember his brother like this. He was in hell and was never coming back.

Straining his ears at the voices he distantly heard, he crumbled his eyebrows in confusion and didn't hesitate in getting closer to them. They were definitely far too loud for him not to be curious over what this was about. He hung by the stairs and trudged down stealthily so as not to make any noise. Bobby was arguing with a man in a trench coat and the trickster was near them. Raising an eyebrow, he silently sat where he was knowing there was no way they'd tell him anything if he interrupted them mid conversation.

It was pretty interesting.

"You don't know what you're doing asking this of him," Bobby was saying. "Do you really think that offering him something good will make up for the bad things that already had-"

"Do you want me to erase the period he was without him? I can do that," The trench coat wearing man had said as though he was promising Bobby that. "I don't disagree that this is bad for him which is why I was already planning on it-"

"What little bro means is that he was planning on wiping everyone's minds of his existence right from the start," The trickster cut in with a smug grin. "I told him there's just some things he would never understand but he chooses not to believe me. Why I'll never know-"

"Gabriel hold your tongue, I don't think we should tell Bobby everything. For one, it's the right thing to do. Angels aren't supposed to be on earth-"

"Right and aren't you the sharpest crayon in the box," Bobby mumbled before he could stop himself.

"I'm no crayon and we're wasting time. Time that could be spent on filling in the Winchester so that we could stop all this fruitless fighting-"

"Fighting which began because of some stupid angel fight?" Bobby asked as though he couldn't stand to hear it again.

"No the apocalypse started the fight between us. If you want it to go on, be my guess but I'm not going to let it come to pass," the man with the trench coat continued and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"Yeah and the biggest mistake you yahoos are making is talking really loud where someone could listen in," he thought by then at least his brother would take the hint and shut up. The angel looked around him and then looked as though he was staring past the blind side of the stairs to where Sam was.

Sam quickly backed up and quickly told himself that they couldn't see him and he was just being paranoid. How in the hell could they see him anyways when he was well hidden? It showed right then when he turned and found himself face to face with Gabriel, as the others had called him. His mind instantly went to what he knew about an angel by the name of Gabriel and he gaped in shock. This man was no trickster, he had always been an angel!

"You could bring Dean back, can't you?" He found himself asking despite knowing the answer beforehand. He looked up waiting to see if he would tell him anything differently but when the angel refused to give him even a reply, he quickly hit the angel on the shoulder without even thinking. "Bring Dean back."

The angel seemingly sighed but did nothing and Sam quickly started to lose it. Hitting him in the shoulder again, he did nothing to stop him however and seemed like he was resigned to allow him to do so.

"You could take all the frustration you want on me, but it doesn't mean I could do what you want or even need. No you have to do more than that," Sam beat on his shoulder, chest, anything that he could get in contact with without really hurting him. He knew it would take far more but that still didn't stop him from consciously stopping himself from going overboard with this.

"Bring him back. Please bring him back!" He was crumbling at the need to have his brother back and Gabriel knew it. He didn't stop the Winchester from what he was doing however because he knew it wouldn't hurt and the younger brother had so much hurt buried deep within that he was going to hurt himself if he didn't get it out. That much was obvious now. "Bring Dean back please. JUST BRING HIM BACK!"

Bobby had quickly interrupted, grabbing the Winchester into a hug and didn't leave much room to escape. He knew Sam and knew that after he was done fighting Gabriel that he would try to run. Sam did try too. He didn't want to hurt or feel or have the knowledge of his brother's death. It was too painful. Bobby wouldn't let go though and before he could stop himself, he was sobbing into the man's shoulder. Bobby just held him tightly allowing him to cry, happy for the release. Sam needed this, he told himself. He told himself his own tears was because he was happy that Sam was finally feeling something and not because he felt sad for the poor boy. He was basically all this kid had in his life if that didn't include the weird angels in his house and Bobby would be damned if he let them close enough to be able to hurt him. Finally Sam quieted down in Bobby's arms, making only the occasional sniffle and sob but that didn't stop Bobby from soothingly rubbing small circles into his back.

"Are we done, because I believe that we need to talk some things over that does not involve the brother unfortunately."

"You brought him back before-"

"It was a time loop you moron. There's nothing I could do to prevent the hell he's been through already," Gabriel admitted.

Sam honestly didn't want to hear that but Bobby wasn't releasing him and he was spent. He was tired of running. Gabriel seemed to sense it for he snapped his fingers and they found themselves on the couch. The man in the trench coat looked between them but didn't say anything elicitation an eye roll from the other angel.

"So if angels aren't supposed to leave heaven, why are you two?" Sam found himself asking before he could stop himself.

Gabriel looked amused but the other angel looked like he was seriously over thinking this.

"We are at war to stop the coming of an apocalypse." He answered and Sam nodded. "I don't think their intentions were to fight us on these issues but the fact does remain. When we killed Lilith, we put a big dent in their plans and they need to find another way."

"So what you're doing could be considered rebelling? How does that work out in heaven?" Sam was confused. Here were actual angels telling him that they left heaven in order to save it and yet he found himself unable to believe that for some reason. It could be because of how they chose to indulge the information. "What would you get as a punishment when returning?"

"That's the thing, we won't be until this war is over. If we're caught we could face floggings or worse and I don't think we'd like that, now would we?" Gabriel reciprocated .

Bobby rolled his eyes at the so called angels.

"I don't care what you angels think as long as it doesn't involve the whole world combusting-"

"The whole would will combust if we don't save it."

Sam sometimes dreamt about angels when he was younger and having the knowledge from the bible at his disposal, he still wasn't prepared to meet one. He didn't know why but the one in the trench coat at least seemed to give a little bit of a damn. Still he couldn't do anything to help them out. He wasn't like he used to be.

"I'm sorry," He told them. "I can't help you, I just can't-"

"Right because you are whining and moping whilst the big bad come out to play," Gabriel got out before Mr. Trench coat could stop him. The look he gave the trickster made Sam's eyes go huge. Anyone else and the trickster would have probably done something.

"Wait, first off I don't even know your name and about the mission. It's impossible to fight all these angels-"

"Do you have faith?" the angel asked.

Sam looked at him oddly. He did have faith up to the point that it failed him in the moment he truly needed his big brother. What was faith if the things he believed in had never came true.

"My name is Castiel and I'm the angel of Thursday," he introduced. Sam nodded, not having found his voice to speak. Cas didn't seem to care much for he went on with little prodding. "You know what Azazel had done to you as a baby so you must know why retiring is a bad idea. Nobody is ever going to let you rest until we stop this. We need-"

"Did you lose someone as close as Dean?" Sam demanded finding his voice. "I can't even sleep an hour without thinking about him and yet you expect me to pick up like this isn't going to be one big memory trip! I have to tell you-"

Gabriel whistled and Bobby looked horrified but none so much as Sam whose face broke out in shock. Cas reasoned he shouldn't have shut him up with his mouth this way but the way he went on, Cas couldn't come to understand these human emotions. Sam sat back in a daze as Bobby whipped himself between them and growled.

"What gave you the right to do that?"

"I saw it in, uh, you call it a television. The man shut the other man up by kissing them-"

"And what happened next?" Bobby asked already regretting his bit of sarcasm.

"I believe that they began some ludicrous activity and-Oh so I shouldn't do that as a way to shut him up because I can't feel love for Sam?"

Bobby nodded, happy that he finally got some sort of wacked up cause for not giving Bobby a heart attack instead of no explanation at all. He turned to them and wondered if Dean was here, if he would have fallen for that at all. Obviously not but Bobby knew that the elder Winchester wasn't here. Hell John Winchester was long dead and there was no barrier at all anymore for the young Winchester. He was in the dead center of all this and as much as he wanted to deny it, he admitted Cas did have a little bit of a point. Sam was moping around and if this wasn't a Godsend to him, Bobby didn't know how else to help Sam. He found himself coming to regret this but Bobby really began to think Cas could help Sam out if anything. He just hoped he wasn't wrong.

"No, you can't do that even if you loved Sam with all your heart," Bobby corrected.

Cas looked over in curiosity and Bobby continued.

"In order for you to do that with Sam, you should marry him. I don't want you to get the idea that if you kiss him, you could do whatever you want with him."

Cas nodded as though he gotten it but Bobby knew he hadn't. It wasn't any previous century though and he wouldn't get away doing that to someone else so he was at least glad that they had the opportunity to correct it before it got out of hand.

"Will you help us Sam? We could use the help and you will get your brother back. Regardless if you help or not, when the war is over, we'll bring him back to you." He paused and Sam took a deep breath, watching as the angel continued. "You have my word."

Sam didn't know what it was but looking into the angel's deep soothing and pierce blue eyes, he told himself that helping would decrease the waiting time to see his brother again. If he were to help he could make sure of when it was over and get his promise kept as well. But most of all he told himself that he was helping not because he thought of the angel in a manner that he should not but because it was like having someone to talk to again that wasn't Bobby. Cas could use a friend too, he reasoned.

"Okay, I'll help," he said.

He didn't know if he'd regret it or not later but right now it was all he could do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like the grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER FIVE***

"IDJIT, IF YOU ARE GETTING THIS THEN YOU BETTER LEAVE ME A FRICKING TEXT MESSAGE AT LEAST BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A WEEK AND YOU AREN'T EVEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE-" Sam grimaced as the answering machine cut off the rest and wasn't sure if he wanted to listen to the rest of it anyways.

Who knew that being in a hotel room in Key West Florida would be so bad? He honestly thought that nothing would make him come back to hunting after Dean but it turned out that two angels were able to change his thought process. Sam thought back to the kiss that Cas had given him to shut his ranting up and couldn't believe that he couldn't stop thinking about it. He spent the days here when he wasn't researching for the angels wondering why the kiss was so much more pleasant than he wanted it to be.

He still hadn't had the pleasure of meeting the angel Balthazar yet but Cas said it would be soon. He wasn't surprised though when he found him complaining to Gabriel later that the mischievous angel was somewhere in Bangkok and not answering his phone. Sam didn't have any idea why it was important and only knew that there were some things they wouldn't tell him, even now.

Sam sighed and turned back to the computer wondering why he was looking up Cambions of all things. He was about to call it quits after he saw that it was really late at night when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Snatching his gun from the waistband of his jeans, he turned to where he saw the figure and noticed it was nothing. He let out a relieved sigh before feeling something on his shoulder. He couldn't help but let out a surprised gasp.

"Really? I thought Castiel and Gabe would have told you about little ole' me."

Sam turned to glance at the man, noticing that he was way too cocky firstly. Second, he was rather prominently dressed like he was from Europe maybe. It didn't matter to him though and with his only concern gone, he shoved the gun in the back of his jeans earning a hearty chuckle in the other.

"Castiel has been calling me all day. Says that they have a list of things they wanted to remove before coming to you about the options available. Finding God has already failed and now I heard there's a Cambion in the neighborhood. Better that than a nephilim anyways. I always believed that angels just shouldn't be having any offspring. It messes with their grace and they fall a lot faster-"

"You've already fallen," Sam told him before he could help himself.

"We're fighting for you mere humans. It figures that we always have to pick up after your messes though. You probably weren't there for everything but then again there's nothing –"

Sam clutched his head and the angel sighed.

"If you didn't want to hear me, you could have just asked-"

"My head," Sam groaned miserably.

The other continued to go on and ignore him though.

Sam fell onto the bed, mindful of the stuff he had on it. He curled up into a ball and grabbed his pillow to try to cushion the pain. It wasn't ebbing away like it usually did and it was getting so bad he felt like crying.

"Really Winchester? Are you okay? You look pale so-"

He paused when Sam let out a whimper and knowing that he couldn't let the man suffer, the angel hefted a sigh and placed his index finger on his forehead.

"Best medicine in the world. Trust me there's nothing better and you won't even feel a thing."

Sam welcomed the numbing abyss as he instantly slid into unconsciousness.

* * *

"I don't know how we could find out though?"

"Easy you just use the Winchester. I mean you could tie him up pretty like a bow and give them bait. It'll be like going undercover."

"Bobby says that he has to be married before he can kiss someone else."

Sam knew who the last voice definitely belonged to as he was brought to awareness more and moaned. His head was still a little fuzzy but he didn't feel the pain that he had had earlier on. As everything came into focus, he saw Cas hovering worriedly beside him and Gabriel was on his right beside his head. The other angel was sitting at the end of the bed with what looked like scotch and with a rather amusing look on his face.

"What's going on?" Sam asked curiously.

"We aren't going to have you do it Sam, so don't worry. I promised Bobby that you would be safe from harm." Cas didn't seem to catch the blush that crept up on Sam but Gabriel did and he smirked, letting himself hum.

"What is it though?" Sam asked.

Knowing that Cas wouldn't bother trying, Balthazar beat Gabriel to it.

"We found some demon that may have information about a Cambion that was born around here about four years ago. We need to get someone undercover but the problem is is that it is a prostitution ring and Cas is reluctant to let you engage in even kissing. Of course not everyone there is a prostitute thank God, they have a mini bar and you needn't have to work as a whore. Not like anybody would tell the difference," he added with a soft chuckle.

Sam went rigid and Cas glared at the other angel. Gabriel laughed before becoming serious.

"I don't think we would do this if it weren't important. We got you a ID and knowing them, they would be interested if you only stood near the register and took people's money for their drinks. I think even Cas wouldn't deny that you are good looking. Would you Cas?"

"Sam has a certain appeal that could get him in trouble." Cas answered truthfully. "If you want to do this, we won't stop you but we need to find the demon and you are our only choice. If you get into trouble, you could yell and scream and we will come. Just call our names. You could also pray to us. We can still hear you."

Sam smiled considering what he should do. They had been so good to him and took it slow with easing him back into things that he felt like he owed them anyways. Chewing on his lip, he noticed that Cas was worried about him. He didn't know what was more surprising, the fact he was fighting with angels to get his brother back or the fact that he didn't mind in the slightest that he was in their presence. He always had thought the trickster was bad but as it turned out, he was just misunderstood. Pulling a little at his hair, he also knew the problems wouldn't go away without his help. He knew stuff that the angels didn't which meant that he could be rather useful. They were only meant in the beginning to keep him away from the other side of the war and Sam knew that it was because of Cas that they were even talking to him now.

"Okay," he said seeing two of the three angels beaming. Cas seemed to frown at that and Sam gulped his hesitation down, knowing that seeking approval from Cas would only lead to trouble down the road. "I'll do it."

"We won't let you down either," Gabriel assured him as though sensing his anxiety underneath the mask he had placed. "We will be watching over you."

In the end, Sam couldn't bear to let himself see the expression on Cas's face. He was afraid of what he would find.

* * *

The first day on the job, Sam realized it had been too long since he had held one. He also found out that the angels were right in saying he was in great demand by everyone for everything. He already had to deal with having been flirted to, attempts to seduce him, near groping, and slaps to his ass. They were getting more annoying the more he had to deal with them. He still didn't hear anything that could help any of his comrades out so he continued to bear it for now.

He heard a couple talking nearby though and quietly pondered what it would be like if Dean was here. Dean never let him in harm's way if the older brother could help it and nothing had never gone wrong when he was near. Ever since he died though, nothing went right. He was brought out of his thoughts by someone tapping on his shoulder. It was the manager of the place, Ricky Olton, the guy Sam didn't know whether to trust his gut telling not to trust the guy or if he should just shut up and listen.

"You can get a break, but be back in fifteen minutes or you'll be fired," he warned and Sam nodded, knowing he would do better just to do what he was being told.

He moved through the throng of people, ignoring a couple of girls kissing and wondered what type of bar and prostitution ring that the angels were setting up. He wrinkled his nose at the mere thought of what could be going on through closed doors. He quickly opened the door and found himself outside in an alleyway. He wondered if Cas was really nearby like he said he would be and sighed a sigh of relief when nobody was nearby. He spotted a man wearing black and hesitantly went up to him beyond his better judgment.

"You looking for the Cambion, ain't ya kid?"

Sam gaped for a moment, losing his ability to lie and just nodded seeing the guy's eyes go black for a second. In the blink of an eye, he moved and had Sam pinned against the wall.

"Angels are pesky and very annoying creatures. I thought you would have left them by now after you realized that they wouldn't help your brother out-"

"LET ME GO!" Sam tried getting out of his grip but the demon chuckled, holding his wrist tighter above his head. Sam whimpered but the demon ignored that, finding the pleasure in Sam's pain. "You Winchesters are definitely hard to find. I would definitely like to do the honors of torturing the angels' information out of you. Maybe afterwards you wouldn't mind using your pretty little body to please me. Well not little," he added with a small laugh. Sam started struggling more, wishing he hadn't left the safety net that was set up.

"Oh and before I forget, you are of course going to call and try to help. I think it's only appropriate that I knock you out before I take you to an angel free zone."

Sam tried to scream but stars appeared in his vision before he slumped over. As he began to black out, he silently plead that Cas could hear him and if he did, Sam was really sorry.

He should have listened to Cas.

* * *

Cas was texting Bobby to tell him that Sam was okay knowing how the man would be if Cas didn't check in with the Winchester's father figure but he only got halfway before he fell down with a gasp. Gabriel was nearby playing with his drink, having a bad feeling when Cas had keeled halfway over like he was in pain. He quickly made it over and hovered nearby. He didn't like this and Cas was the angel who was never hurt. He didn't care if he was proven weak by this, Cas was his younger brother and no matter how much of a pain in the ass he was, he loved him all the same.

"Cas, what the hell is going on with you?"

"I think….Something is wrong," Cas got out holding his midsection tightly with his arms and squeezing his eyes shut. Gabriel could have told him this and it wasn't that he was regretting having the Winchester go. They needed the intel but the way Cas was withering around, he thought that something bad had indeed happened. He could only hope that this wasn't what he thought it was.

All too soon, Cas stopped and even got off the floor. He paused, eyeing Gabriel who looked back in silence when Balthazar appeared. The other angel stopped eyeing them and seemingly wondering if there was anything wrong. Cas answered both their questions with one single statement.

"I believe that Sam is in horrible danger and we need to get to him fast."

Gabriel nodded with a frown.

Cas shouldn't have been able to feel that. If he did, it was going to be making things a lot more complicated for him then either angel could even comprehend. And if at the end, Cas chose not to take away the Winchester's memories, then Gabriel wondered if it would be because of love or because of the other feelings that Cas was refusing to show.

Either way he knew his very naïve brother wouldn't get it and down the road it would only lead to heartbreak.

* * *

"Tell me what the angels are planning!"

Sam screamed as he felt the sharp object dig at his abdomen. He whimpered when the pressure eased until the demon slapped him across the face. He groaned feeling light headed and dizzy. The demon did not cease though and before he got even a single warning, he found the demon deepening the cut with the sharp object once more. He screamed once again, not being able to help himself and the only thing that the demon did was hold onto his face so that he could see his expression as he cut into him.

"You seem to get off on pain Winchester. Maybe if I went a little more-"Sam screamed again and the demon smirked. Setting aside the knife, he pushed a blood filled finger into his mouth, watching the Winchester look at him in horror. His eyes were too wide and he had blood all over the place. The demon smirked before replacing the finger with his lips, prying his mouth open when Sam attempted to keep it closed. He forced his tongue in and felt his anger evaporate instantly. The Winchester was certainly making him angry but he made it up with pleasure and the demon suddenly was given an idea.

He moved away and Sam fought to stay conscious as he breathed through his mouth and nose just to get enough air in. The demon had beat him enough before then and now he was using his voice to scream for the past hour. He decided to go a little easy now however and moved away as Sam panted harshly.

"The Cambion cannot be found. His adopted parents found out what was going on and quickly went into hiding before we could stop them. He is now safe and out of harm's way. I gave you something Sammy, so now you should do something for me. I'm not a normal demon either Sam, I could become anything you want." To Sam's horror, he shifted into his dad and Sam fought the rising panic when he next shifted into Dean. He couldn't let the demon get to him though and turned his face away. The demon growled angrily and punched him in the face, causing Sam to look up again in fear.

"How about you tell me about them angels now if you want to live that is," he added with Dean's sarcastic smirk. Sam didn't like it; it reminded him too much of what Dean would do when he was trying to be smart. He didn't want it to be this way, to know Dean through this monster's eyes. He quickly squeezed them shut, only to have them wide open in shock a second later when the demon pressed his lips onto Sam's mouth. He was still in Dean's form making it ten times worse than Sam ever thought possible.

"I'm Thor by the way but you could call me Dean Sammy. Hell you could probably even scream it for all I care. You did this to me you little punk. You allowed me to go to Hell and you failed to save me. I wonder if you even feel guilty Sam. Do you even love me anymore? I know I'm a little different because well, I've been tortured in Hell for more time than you could even think. Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, you do realize that one month here is about a decade in Hell? I bet you weren't even aware of that fact Sammy. And now you can't even save me now. I wish sometimes Sammy that I didn't even save you-"

Sam screamed as he trembled. He didn't know all that and even though a part of him knew it wasn't really his brother, the monster was wearing his face and he somehow believed it now when the demon said all those things. The thing that looked like his brother stood back and smirked arrogantly leaving Sam a mess underneath him. Thor knew what he was doing and knew that to get the younger Winchester to break, it wouldn't take long now. Before he could continue, words started bubbling from Sam's mouth. It didn't even make sense, most of it and yet he felt himself feeling triumphant. The Winchester was a bumbling mess now and he just had to twist the last knife to get him to reveal everything.

"I'm sorry Dean, so, so sorry," he kept mumbling. "Don't hate me. I'm sorry Dean. I tried. Please don't hate me, I can't take it if you hated me. I wish I went to hell instead of you, I do."

After hearing that sentence repeated about thirty times, Thor started losing his patience. Picking the knife back up, he noticed that Sam got quiet fast and it wasn't the same as before. He smirked once he had the Winchester's undivided attention.

"Do you really want to make up for it Sammy?" he asked and saw Sam nod without a single hesitation. "I'm going to cut into you and I want you to take it without screaming like a sissy baby. You deserve the pain you little wimp."

Sam nodded shakily and Thor drove the knife deep into his abdomen, watching in sick fascination how the blood seemed to be seeping through in fast rivulets but Sam had his eyes closed tight and his head was back as though he was trying to control his instinct to cry out. He loved this and before he could stop himself, he greedily pushed his lips against Sam's mouth. He brought up his bloody hands after replacing the knife back onto the table and cupped Sam's face. There wasn't much movement the Winchester could do especially when he had him restrained tightly. Before he was able to enjoy it however, he caught movement and removed himself to meet it head on.

He was exorcised by the palm of the angel's hand. After pushing the man out of the way, Cas realized the extent the demons were willing to go to get the Winchester on their side. He quickly had Gabriel help him remove the restraints and gathered Sam into his arms. The younger hunter was in pain and was definitely hurting through his ordeal, but Cas couldn't help but hold him as he trembled and sobbed into his trench coat.

"I'm sorry," Sam sobbed and Cas patted him on the back soothingly.

"It's okay Sam, you did nothing wrong," he quickly soothed. "That thing wasn't your brother Sam and Dean wouldn't really do that to you. He loves you so much and would do everything again because he wouldn't be able to deal with the fact of losing you. He loves you Sam, I know he does. Believe me."

Sam looked him in the eye for the first time since Cas saved him and although he was still trembling, he seemed more in control. Cas couldn't blame him though since he still was massively losing blood in his stomach. Cas sighed before putting a finger to his forehead, causing all of the cuts to heal up instantly. Sam shook and Cas continued to hold him, telling himself that he was trying to help Sam and that holding the warm body against him was part of making sure Sam was feeling better. He ignored Gabriel's frown and lifted Sam's body, the Winchester only held onto him tighter.

"It's okay Sam. I'm going to take you away from here," Cas continued to sooth with Sam now pressed into his body. "You did nothing wrong Sam. I told you I'd be here to protect you. If anyone should be sorry it is me because I wasn't fast enough."

Sam whined and pulled himself closer to Cas's warmth, holding on all the more tighter. Cas popped them back to the hotel room and went to lay him gently in the bed ignoring Balthazar's quizzical look. Sam only held onto Cas tighter and whimpered at the thought of losing the warmth. In his mind, all he saw was that this was the reason he was safe and they weren't blaming him for anything. He was at fault and he knew he had been used. He also knew what would have happened if he wasn't saved at all. Having that all together in his mind made him clingy and Cas sighed realizing he couldn't leave him alone like this.

"Okay Sam, I'm not going anywhere." Cas said with a sigh.

Cas got in beside him and allowed Sam to pull himself snug against him. The Winchester had dried blood all over his shirt and on his face but Sam didn't seem all to worried about that. Sam's blood was also on Cas's trench coat, something he hadn't liked but he knew that it wouldn't matter as long as Sam was still in pain. Finally Sam managed to close his eyes and was breathing soundly into him. He didn't mind, as long as the Winchester felt better.

"I think you have a problem little bro," Gabriel told him.

Cas looked down and knew what Gabriel meant. They had messed up. They let him go undercover and he had gotten hurt. He could have even died. Sighing, Cas nodded as Sam scooted closer in his sleep again.

"Sam is hurt Gabe, there's nothing I could do until I get Sam to realize-"

Balthazar frowned though.

"He was talking about you killing our only lead Cas. Sam wasn't in danger of dying and you still killed that demon who seemed to know things and we won't know what he knew. They could plan something more with Sam and hurt him in other ways-"

"No one is hurting Sam Winchester ever again. I won't let them lay a finger on him." He stated matter of factly.

Gabriel sighed.

"You can't protect him the whole time. It would be better to teach him how to protect himself as well. You know what would have happened had Ruby taught him her way and maybe you could cancel out the demon blood somehow and teach him control over the abilities he does have. What do you think?"

Cas nodded.

"I will. I'll teach Sam how to defend himself with the power of his mind. He may have demon blood but he hasn't drunk any of the stuff. He's still pure."

Gabriel nodded in agreement. Balthazar knew he was chancing this when he brought it up once again but he couldn't help himself.

"Do you realize that you are getting close to him? You are going to be erasing his mind of course and he's not going to remember but you will. Are you sure you want to chance the risk of getting close and getting feelings for him Cas?" Balthazar asked.

Cas shook his head.

"I can't afford that Balthazar, I have to protect him."

The other two sighed but let it drop after that.

Cas just didn't get it but the others could at least see what the stubborn angel did not and that was that Cas was falling for the Winchester, and he was already way too far in.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like the grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER SIX***

Sam woke up screaming for the fifth time that night and Cas soothed him back into sleep easily enough. It would have been easier to just knock him out like Gabriel suggested after the third time but Cas didn't want to hurt him. Sam went through hell and was still going through things he shouldn't have to witness. He could have been violated as well so Cas just let Sam go back into a troubling slumber, his hands fisting his trench coat.

"You do realize he's going to be upset if you leave him alone now. He'll be so worried if you leave for even a minute-"

"Leave Gabriel."

Once that angel was gone, he woke Sam up seeing as it was seven thirty and he would probably be waking up once again soon enough. Sam awoke with a start and whimpered, pressing against Cas once again. Cas sighed and patted his back until Sam was alert enough to realize what he did and backed up a little bit. He still held on to the trench coat though. Cas sighed and knew Sam wasn't going to like this.

"I'm going to negate the demon blood in your system," Cas told him.

Sam looked at him in bewilderment.

"What are you going to do to do that?" Cas sighed.

He saw the dried caked on blood smeared over Sam's face and more dried blood on his shirt. He needed a shower and fresh clothes. He also needed to get over the fact that he was almost hurt badly. He was fine now and nothing would get to him if Cas could help it. He wouldn't let them.

"I'm going to teach you how to control the powers you do have and if that doesn't work, I'll try something else. But for now I'm going to hope that you could get the gist of it and that the other thing doesn't have to be used. It could be somewhat painful," he waivered seeing as how Sam's eyes went wide at the thought of pain. He brought his hand through the soft floppy hair and wondered if Sam was ever going to get over the fact that he had been tortured. Maybe if he erased that but he wasn't going to do it yet. First he had to teach him how to fight. That was how he was going to negate the bad thing that happened to him.

"What do you want me to do?" Sam asked and Cas could still see all the blood. He still had a little on his trench coat, not that it would change anything but he decided he didn't want to see it on Sam anymore.

"Get a shower and then we'll start. Okay?" Sam nodded and grabbed some clothes from his bag. He looked over his shoulder a couple of times like he kept thinking that Cas was going to leave.

He knew it was going to take a lot more to get this out of his head and for now, Cas was content on just staying on the bed and waiting for him to get done. He heard the shower turn on and grabbed his phone from his pocket. Bobby was going to hate the update but he knew the man wanted one regardless so he wasn't going to disappoint.

"Yeah? If this is Castiel give the phone over to your buddy angels or more importantly Sam since it's fricking ten at night and you don't have any concept for anything."

"Sam's in the shower and the others are doing things at the moment," Cas told him calmly. "He should be almost done though. That's not the reason I called though."

"Yeah, Gabriel gave me the update at a reasonable time, you jack ass," Bobby sounded miserable. "Anyways how is he doing now that he has been ripped open with a knife-"

"He's doing better," Cas quickly told him. "I'm going to help him through it Bobby, you have my word."

He heard a snort in the other line and knew that Bobby blamed them for Sam getting hurt in the first place. Still he wasn't going to let him think he didn't care about Sam. He did and if it took him until the war had been fought, then he was going to.

"Just make sure you boys are proper and that you keep yourself from having a go at it with Sam. Remember he's vulnerable so-"

"I get it. He needs to be married-"

"You should hear yourself talk sometimes. But yeah, don't do anything that I wouldn't."

Bobby hung up just as Sam got out, already dressed and the lack of dried blood on his face made Cas smile. He didn't like him being hurt and he couldn't explain it but he felt a twinge in his chest every time he thought about it. It didn't help the fact that he felt something different every time he looked at him either. It was enough to make him stick around to find out what that was. Sam went back to the bed and looked at him, not wanting to start a staring contest with him since he knew he wasn't going to ever out beat the angel in it.

"Cas can you close your eyes for a second please?"

Cas did as he was asked and when he opened it, Sam's face was hovering really close like he was going to kiss him, but he didn't He simply thought this was annoying and would have closed the gap if he didn't think it would scare Sam off but he noticed the angel no longer had his eyes closed and that didn't seem to bother him. Sam was too mysterious in just about everything and this was something he wasn't expecting when he came up with the idea of ending the apocalypse before it even started.

"Why are you hovering like this? You either want to kiss me or you are working up the courage to do so," Cas told him and Sam didn't retreat but he didn't really seem all that happy of the fact that was dredged up either.

"I'm thinking if you would even let me," Sam admitted. "I know what Bobby tells you and you want it to be proper but it stopped since that demon forced his on me using Dean's face. I know you are still used to the old times too but nowadays kisses aren't very special unless someone makes it out to be. Everyone kisses another warm body and they definitely have sex and all that without being married. That's how we get teen pregnancies."

"Do you want it to be special?" Cas asked and he saw Sam's lip quirk upwards in a smile. He felt a flutter in his heart at this one thing and still wondered how he could feel that. He was an angel and this shouldn't be happening but he didn't dislike this. If anything he felt all fuzzy and warm inside thanks to this.

"Yeah, I want it to be special," Sam told him with a small smile. "I want to kiss you."

That declaration wasn't loss on Cas and he found himself looking at him as though he could tell what his intentions were by looking into his soul. He couldn't find any evil intent by this and Sam was far from pure with everything he had to go through in his childhood and losing Dean was another thing that made him lose his innocence. Nothing was going to take that back either but he could give back anything he could and would if it were possible. That one thing he wouldn't deny.

"Okay," Cas told him. "If you feel it would be special for you, then by all means."

The kiss was slow and sensual but not in the least bit not special. Cas found himself responding to it with an enthusiasm so unlike him. He found himself nibbling on Sam's bottom lip until he was granted entrance and then the kiss turned passionate and Cas wondered why he hadn't done this before. Millions of things exploded through his head and he pulled away after a moment, realizing he had closed his eyes. Leaning forward again, he fell onto Sam although the younger Winchester didn't seem to mind and started to kiss him on the mouth once again. He pulled away after another minute and noticed that he was definitely liking this.

"Was this special to you?" Sam nodded and he found himself smiling. "This was my first kiss."

Sam smiled even brighter and Cas stood up and helped Sam to sit at the end of the bed. He was confused a bit but calmed down when Cas kissed him on the nose. Cas seemed to have that effect on a lot of people although he didn't know why and Sam didn't hesitate in trusting him so blindly which resulted in him getting hurt. He couldn't allow that to happen.

"I'm going to teach you how to use telekinesis first okay? You did it before but you refused to let it develop further maybe because you thought it was evil but regardless of anything, you need to let it out now."

Sam nodded.

"If you can't we'll try the alternative although I'd like to keep from trying that for a while. Is that okay?"

Sam nodded again and Cas sat back pointing to various objects that he found around the room.

"I want you to concentrate on one of them and when you feel the pull, instead of fighting it I want to you let it pull. Pull along with it, not against it okay?"

Sam tried, he did but even when he began to see the change, he was reminded of what the other children had become and let out a gasp, causing the thing to drop, and ended the whole process. He tried multiple different times where the object only hovered a little and then dropped. He never went past that certain point and Cas sighed before moving forward again.

"Instead of thinking of what you could be when that happens, think about this." Sam's eyes widened until Cas drew him into another short chaste kiss, making Sam calm down and his heart to start racing at the same time. He let his eyes close so he could feel this, deepening the passion until Cas backed up and Sam quickly hid the little bit of disappointment he felt.

"Okay try again."

Sam did.

There was that pull and he went along with it like Cas said to and at the point where he usually jammed up and let go, he reminded himself that Cas wouldn't allow him to become that and it went to higher heights then he ever felt possible. He smiled when he let it drop and Cas pulled him into a soft kiss again, leaving his forehead touching his after he broke it.

"Did you like your reward?"

Sam found himself nodding against him.

"If I get this every time we practice, I'll become a pro."

Cas smiled.

"As nice as that is I know I didn't want to do this but you'll have an easier time if I combat the demon blood so that you won't become hungry for it. I think that it would be best after all."

Sam didn't know what it was but he trusted him. He closed his eyes when Cas put his hand through his hair and let out an easy breath when one hand rested upon his forehead whilst the other was at the back of his head as though Cas thought he would faint. He snapped his eyes opened but the look Cas sent him made him feel comfortable again. He could say it would hurt like hell and yet Sam found himself knowing that it wasn't going to be bad when he woke up.

"Are you ready?" he asked and Sam knew he didn't even know what he wanted but decided it would be better not knowing so that he couldn't lock up or anything.

"Yeah."

He saw a whole bunch of light before he went unconscious. He mused that it hadn't hurt and yet he couldn't feel anything beyond the sudden warmth before he slumped forward into Cas's arms. Cas laid him back and looked at him, seeing that he was laying peaceably for the first time in a while.

"Sleep well Sam."

Was it wrong to think that maybe he would enjoy thinking of himself as Sam's friend? He didn't know but he found himself smile at the thought. He liked to think that.

* * *

"So what are we doing in Nebraska again?" Gabriel was very impatient and Sam couldn't blame him. It was a bit cold after all and it was raining. Who wouldn't hate the rain when it came down in torrents along with lightning? He bit his lip to keep from sounding his fear when a crackle of thunder sounded. It made him look ridiculous and he didn't want them thinking he was a wimp. Cas seemed to see through it and hurriedly got them a room at the hotel as soon as he saw no one was around.

"We are looking for a lead and by we, I mean Balthazar and I."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and almost missed when Cas pulled Sam in for a kiss before leaving them with the room key. Gabriel arched his eye brows and let out a 'hmm' when he saw that the younger Winchester was blushing. He couldn't help it, he laughed and saw the kid turn redder just at the thought. Maybe he could have fun baiting him but a part of him was still worried about the future. He sighed once they were in the room and saw it was a double. Cas did think of everything though and that shouldn't surprise him much. What he was doing with Sam however did.

"You do realize that Cas is going to erase him from your mind once you get your brother back right? He could fall head over heels in love with you and that won't change a thing so if you have feelings at all for him, I'd stop it while you could before it becomes too late. All we need is a love sick human when we're trying to stop Armageddon."

Sam looked over, deep in thought before collapsing on the bed. Gabriel just looked over in humor until he realized something he should have picked up on before and frowned. His brother was going to get a huge smack down once he got back since he should have consulted them before he gave some of his own grace up for the Winchester. He should have known though since his telekinesis since then had been weakened considerably and even though Cas was mad as hell about it, he told them not to worry and that it probably wasn't a big deal. Hell it was! He gave some of that up to Sam Fucking Winchester!

"He gave you some of his grace," Gabriel commented seeing the form stiffen at that. He smirked inwardly but right now he knew this was serious. "You know what happens when an angel gives up even a little bit of their grace?"

Sam sat up now interested and Gabriel would have laughed had he not thought about how close they were getting. He almost thought it was unfair because even though Sam wouldn't remember, Cas would and it was really unfair for the Winchester to use that to his advantage. It was something a cold heartless bastard would do and yet he had the feeling that Sam didn't know this.

"Well they give up a little of themselves. Take the amount he gave you for instance. He greatly weakened his own telekinetic powers by doing that and that doesn't stop there. If he were to become human, he'd have to give up everything and there's no way he would so why the hell is he doing this for you?"

Sam sat shocked wondering the same thing. Did he think that he wanted this to happen? He didn't even know what it was and only let him because he trusted him. He glared when Gabriel pulled him into his view and he could tell the angel was mad as well. He couldn't stop that but it didn't mean he had to take it silently.

"I never wanted him to do that for me," Sam quickly told him. "He said there was something he could do to combat the demon blood and he didn't say what it was going to be and just asked if I trusted him. If I had known, I wouldn't have let him do that-"

"Right and it's not like you're the first to be taken by little Castiel," Gabriel sobered up at the thought. "Not many know this but we don't have a great track record when it comes to humans. I fell in love and hell Balthazar had loved someone great in the past as well. The part that scares me is that Cas can't turn his off and he is going to end up off the deep end. What do you think is going to happen if he were to love you wholeheartedly and give you your brother? He's still going to take your memory from you and he will have all the memories. You won't but he'll always remember Sam and if you want to be selfish fine but don't let that be something you do because he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve the pain-"

"What if he didn't take the memories though?" Gabriel stopped and actually laughed.

"But Sam he promised Bobby he would so he is going to whether you like it or not. The major difference though is if you decide to back the hell away or cause him to suffer for everything he's ever done for you."

Sam looked more than shocked and more than upset but Gabriel didn't give any room for any what ifs. He was way past that and now he gave the Winchester his warning. He knew that the kid was going to feel deeply upset and he was surprised to find that he cared more for his brother than he did about this kid. He wasn't really surprised though, not really. Castiel may be a pain in the ass but he would fight to protect him even if all went south and he knew something would happen to him by doing it. That was something that Sam had to realize though and it wasn't like he was intentionally being mean to the kid. He knew that Cas cared about him greatly though and he knew if the Winchester felt even an inkling of the same thing he would not try anything no matter what.

Love hurt so it wasn't meant to be fair.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural**

**CONTAINS M/M SLASH. THERE'S EVENTUAL MPREG.**

**Please review! :)**

**Full Summary:  
**

**when Dean dies he find himself only wanting his brother to return to him but he's stuck working with two angels to help find a way to bring him back whilst dodging the angels of heaven. There was supposed to be an apocalypse but the two claim the issue has divided the angels and that they are at war with each other because of it. So now instead of giving up hunting like the grieving hunter wants to, he is driven across the country, with more or less little sleep trying to prevent an all out war in heaven. If that wasn't complicated enough Sam feels himself falling for the one fallen angel called Castiel. Alternate timeline. SASTIEL**

* * *

***CHAPTER SEVEN***

Sam saw that Gabriel was off in his own little world after the talk they had and glanced over to the door to see if there was a chance of getting away without the angel realizing it. He took a couple of steps just to test if he would be able to when he was stopped short by a tap on the shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Sam gulped and tried to think of something that could help him but ended up blank. He fought the wave of emotions bouncing off him all at once and backed up to sit back on the edge of the bed. Gabriel looked smug after that and Sam looked angrily over to him. Was that what it was going to be, he thought. First he was told he shouldn't get too close to Cas and now he was being watched like a hawk. If there was some way-There was. He knew that Bobby was taught this ancient way of repelling them and that Cas only did it because he wasn't around twenty four seven. It just involved blood. How he was going to do it though was going to be the hard part though.

Or maybe not, he thought once Gabriel picked up his cell phone with an annoyed look on his face. It was Cas, he was pretty sure and knowing that his back was turned now, he grabbed the blade and winced as he brought it across his open palm. He didn't hesitate though and worked on getting the symbol on the wall before Gabriel found out.

"Hold on bro your boy is acting up again. I think I'll put him in a cage-" Once Gabriel looked over, Sam slapped his hand on the symbol and watched with satisfaction at the surprised look on his face before he disappeared in a hue of blue light. He quickly made it for the door right after that.

Reaching outside, he didn't hesitate in hailing a taxi with the determination of getting away. He was better before the angels got involved, he told himself. If he hadn't met them he would still have a world without his brother and he'd still be drowning in his sorrows but at least he wouldn't feel the tear in his heart at having to do this.

He had to get away though and Gabriel would understand.

Even if Cas didn't at first.

* * *

"I'm starting to think you liked that though Gabe baby. I mean it's not every day you have somebody get the smarts on you-"

"He didn't get the smarts on me Balthazar, he waited until I was on the phone and then he left," Gabriel quickly corrected him and Balthazar shrugged. It wasn't like he was trying to cause a fight but the fact that some arrogant archangel was bested by a human was funny.

"I think you both are missing the big picture," Cas quickly told them. He looked between them before starting to pace again much to their dull amusement. "Why did he leave in the first place? Why would he want to? I know that it's not easy having to be here with us and all but he was happy right? I would like to think he would want to stick around-"

"It had nothing to do with you little bro," Gabriel finally said with a sigh. At Cas's look of disbelief Gabriel continued. "I told him that he was stupid if he could believe in some things and he took off to make things easier. He didn't leave because of anything you did though. No, he left to sort out what his issues are-"

"Which is?" Cas demanded.

Gabriel tried not to think of how angry his brother was and instead looked away as though there were things more interesting than the conversation he was now having. Balthazar had different ideas and it was no wonder how he could guess what was being said since he wasn't naïve like Castiel was on even the more brighter days.

"He loves you Castiel. He may not know or even how much yet but just think about it. You and him are close and are becoming more than close at times. Feelings like that do come and then there's the fact that you promised Bobby that you'd make him forget but you won't forget this, ever. It kind of makes it unfair that you won't ever get to forget what he would want to remember as well. Even if you aren't with him you would want to-"

"Love?" Cas tipped his head to the side before jumping over to the phone. "Bobby yeah, we're looking for him but so far there's a dead end. Yeah, I'm working on it and I'll come over there as soon as I get the idea but it wasn't my fault. I will keep you informed. Absolutely and I'm not a feather brained idjit. Okay, I apologize and understand. I know, I won't do anything that he thinks is forced. I promise Bobby and you have my utmost word."

Gabriel snickered until Cas ended the phone call and then everything was back down to business. Oh how he hated the word but there was nothing stopping his little bro when it got like this. He would just have to hope that everything played out fine.

"So love?" Cas asked like the question alone was causing him a headache. Balthazar quickly gulped down the rest of his drink and poured some more. He was too sober for this conversation as it was. "I'm not talking to a wall am I? I want to know how this could be so simple since the I haven't really gotten the concept in the past-"

"You have been told Cas, you just forever won't get it," Balthazar interrupted.

"We gave up telling you in fact because you ask questions that aren't relevant. And think of it this way, you are going to take his memory away anyways so what does it matter if you do or don't in fact love him? Knowing the end game, you shouldn't really be too close to him-"

"There's a way though," Cas told him slowly. "I always keep my promises but that doesn't have to mean the end. I could always give it back or he could be the few that would remember me-"

"Not gonna happen. You are an angel and he is a human. We are most likely going to die in the name of love without all these complications and you should know that. Whatever you have with the Winchester boy better be nothing but brotherly love or else I will hide him so far in one hemisphere that you would never find him," Balthazar warned. "You got me?"

"Uh," Cas hesitated but seeing that they both were serious he finally nodded. "Capish."

Gabriel nodded.

"Good boy now we need to find Winchester and beat the resistance out of him before he ends up getting hurt. You with us buddy?"

Cas nodded after a moment's hesitation and it was enough. It had to be.

* * *

"I think this is crazy." Sam thought to himself. He found himself in Michigan and it was the opposite of what he really wanted to do. He sighed before picking up the wads of cash from his pocket to count and see if he had enough for a night stay in the motel nearby. Instead what he got was the ring of his cell phone and he saw that it was Bobby. "Yeah."

"Boy you need to get back to those angels! I know that you don't like it and you would much rather be with your brother but don't do anything stupid. I know you and you need to be around to be protected-"

"Bobby it has nothing to do with anything like that." Sam paid for his food and headed away from the street cart with the motel in mind. "I can't stop thinking about Dean yeah but this goes way beyond that Bobby-"

"Oh yeah?" Bobby challenged. "Well it just so happens that Cas is worried about whether you got into some sort of accident and he's pacing around waiting by cell phone to see if I heard anything. How much does that tell you? He cares Sam even though he can't recognize it. He probably likes you more than he even knows and I know how much it takes for him to be lost, hell I shot him the first time I met him because I thought he was just a stupid demon."

Sam couldn't help it, he laughed. The thought of Cas getting shot and looking more upset by the fact that he chose to shot him rather than killing him was sort of funny. Then again Cas did a million in one things that made him laugh and did a couple that made his heart pick up. He refused to do that to Cas though and Gabriel and those other angels would just have to get it. He was just about to cross the street when he noticed the car accident in front of him. He didn't see that a second ago and was surprised to see a young female in the center, lifeless.

"Bobby I hafta go," he ignored Bobby's heated voice and hung up, going to go as close as he could to see what was going on. She looked very pretty with a long white dress and long blonde wavy hair but the thing that didn't add up was the blood on her chest. It looked like it hadn't been caused by a car accident.

"What is going on mister, can't you see we're closing this area off. This is a murder investigation."

Sam looked over in awe though when he realized that this was no ordinary girl. There was an outline on the pavement of what looked like wings. He became shocked at that and couldn't help but gasp when he felt something on his arm.

"You know her?" Sam had to blink for a second before shaking his head.

"I know her brothers," he admitted which wasn't actually that far off if she was what he thought she was. How could anyone stand to kill her though was beyond him. He went to dig out his cell phone with the thought of calling Cas when he was shoved back back two burly men. He found that oddly enough he was far away from being able to scream for help too. This was just great.

"We need to take to down to the station and ask you some questions. We aren't getting any and this isn't the first so far that leads us to believe that the brothers could be behind this-"

"But Castiel isn't even in this state," Sam quickly interrupted.

They raised an eyebrow at the name and Sam continued despite how weird it is.

"All I know is that they belong to a clan that is feuding with one another. She didn't look to be on the other clans' side so the brothers didn't kill her. She had to have had another of her brothers just off her-"

He paused when one of them shoved a wash cloth over his nose and mouth. Sam held his breath and saw one of them smile broadly despite what he was doing and Sam found too late that he should be fighting this. He kicked and thrashed but it was hopeless. Instead he told himself that Cas would come if he prayed. Cas I'm here and I think I'm in trouble, he thought with all his mind as though it depended on this one thought. Please help me.

He was jerked and gasped, looking down to notice blood seeping down from where the knife had entered in his stomach. He then gazed at them in horror for whatever they did and found one of them laughing whilst the other looked smug. Apparently he couldn't laugh.

"Names Uriel. I can't say I know why they would protect a punk like you but we do need your blood and then your worthless to us. We could leave you in hell for a little while until we get our king out from hell and then he could bring you back since you are the only vessel for him. What do you say?" Sam couldn't focus anymore and slid down the wall. He fought to keep his eyes opened and found it very difficult to even stay conscious. He had to keep the knife in him though so he didn't bleed to death and as long as he didn't hit an organ, Sam was going to be fine. He'd need surgery but he could live past this.

He jumped when a hand reached over to the hilt of the knife and yanked it out, making him scream before he could stop himself.

"You ought to realize we don't do well with-" He frowned seeing something akin to grace that seemed to be leaking out. This wasn't what was supposed to happen and he pulled him back up against the wall in a demanding tone saying, "You better tell me how you got this big boy or else I'm gonna put you in hell far more sooner than you could want."

Sam could feel the life seeping out of him and couldn't even lift his head anymore. He felt fuzzy and warm but he couldn't decipher anything beyond that and he found it weird because it had hurt so much. Still the one thing that came to his mind was that it wouldn't end here, because he wouldn't let it. He weakly called out to the one angel that has always listened and cared despite how much Sam hurt him.

He called out to Cas with every faith in his being that he would answer.

He would definitely not disappoint.

* * *

Cas sighed when Bobby called back and said that Sam had hung up. It was worrying especially that Sam would hang up in the middle of a conversation with Bobby and was about to say so when he paused, holding a hand to his abdomen. Balthazar and Gabriel quickly jumped to action and saw blood spurting from the spot and to their surprise, found that his grace was either leaking out or coming back in as well. It actually was surprising when Cas wasn't even stabbed.

"What the hell-"

"Gabe you said that the idiot put some grace in Sam?"

Gabriel nodded in worry and Balthazar swore. They always said that when somebody bonded with something like this they both felt pain but in this instance, the grace he gave to Sam was most likely coming back in a torrent of pain and if they didn't find the little brat, he would die.

"Where did Bobby say he was?"

Cas blinked before zapping himself away in a flurry of feathers and the other angels didn't hesitate to follow. Uriel was there much to their dismay and Sam was looking really pale and his lips were turning blue due to the blood loss alone. Damn it the grace leaking out would kill him faster than anything else though. And if the angel was smart enough to use an angel sword, he would kill the brat and leave a part of Cas empty for the rest of his eternity.

"Step away from our boy Uriel, he's ours and we don't share."

"Of course you don't but that doesn't mean anything. You reversed the demon blood and now another plan shot to hell when it comes to Lucifer but don't worry we'll get him eventually."

Gabriel just sighed.

"Of course you would and that is why you need to kill a pathetic human to get it-"

"Right and that is so not it. You could have him, he's just about going out now anyways. It's easier to get access to the stomach by the way if they think you're trying to chloroform them. Easy as pie. Got to go though and tell the boss that we got two for the price of one, you know how that is."

"Uriel when I see you next, I won't hesitate to kill you," Cas told him bluntly. Uriel laughed but threw that off. He didn't need the threat since Cas couldn't ever be taken seriously. Cas let him go before going over and holding two fingers to Sam's forehead.

It was worrisome when he healed better but the wound wasn't closing. Balthazar helped him make a makeshift bandage over the injury and decided that it would take some time to heal. They took him to Bobby's.

Bobby took one look and swore before bringing the first aid kit.

"I would use pain meds but his breathing has already gone to shit and these could cause him to stop breathing altogether. I want you to hold him for me and to hold him tight so he can't move okay. It's gonna hurt but maybe you idjits will all stay on the same path and don't try anything stupid in the future alright."

Cas nodded and placed Sam's head gently in his lap, locking his arms above his head and watched as Sam blinked into alertness. He still wasn't aware of things as much as he should be but he was also too conscious. But Bobby was right too, they had to watch his breathing. He saw Gabriel take the legs and Balthazar was helping to keep the torso still so Bobby didn't make a mistake. It was going to hurt and Cas wanted to make it as less as possible.

"Okay I'm going to begin. He's going to need seven stitches just to close this up," Bobby told them to give them the heads up and Sam looked at him in confusion before he felt more pain than he ever wanted to in a lifetime. He tried to edge away from it and he screamed so very loud that even Gabriel was having trouble concentrating on the task at hand. Here was this human that got the upper hand on him and yet he was sympathizing for him because he was screaming bloody murder as the needle again pulled the skin taut together so that it could mend better. Sam ran out of breath to scream and began to breathe deeply to try to get enough air. It was forgotten as he felt it again and let another scream tear from his lips. "Damn it Cas, distract him okay? Do what you do best, tell him anything you want as long as you don't lie."

Cas nodded and tapped his cheek so that he was looking up when the needle again breached the broken skin. Sam wanted something to numb it, even alcohol would be good right about now. He moaned in pain, biting his lip as he looked over him and saw that Cas was suffering from this as much as Sam was. He fought to keep himself from screaming and it only came out as a half scream this time around.

"It's going to be okay Sam," Cas tried to reassure him.

Sam only whimpered.

"It hurts," he told him truthfully.

Cas nodded in understanding.

"I know, okay maybe I don't but it'll be okay. Just don't think about it. Think about what I'm saying okay? I know you really like me, maybe even love me." Sam looked up in shock that he almost forgot about the piercing needle. Cas hated the blood still seeping from the wound and couldn't wait for this to be done. He was obviously hurting and he had dried blood caked around his chin as well. Cas still had some on his hands and couldn't wait to wash it off. It scared him. "Tell me why so I could know. Please?"

Sam breathed in deeply and began despite his better judgment. "Your eyes. Your personality. Hell the way you stand up for me. You make my heart beat faster and you being hurt makes my chest hurt like it's on fire. I know love…Cas."

He whimpered again and Cas quickly got him to look back up at him. He couldn't understand love before and couldn't believe how much of a fool he had been. He ignored the dissatisfaction from the others and instead concentrated on him and only him.

"I love you too Sam. I love you." He leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips muffling the cries of pain. "I don't like you getting hurt either, this is killing me. Why'd you leave? Why would you put me through that? You almost died and I don't want to think about what that would do to me Sam. Don't ever do that again, you have to promise not to. Okay? Don't leave me alone like that okay?"

Sam nodded, tears overflowing from his eyes and cascading down his cheeks. Cas knew those weren't from the needle constantly going through layers of skin just to close the wound. He let himself smile, rubbing a hand through his hair reassuringly whilst keeping his hands restrained so Bobby wouldn't lose his concentration. He was going to be okay and if he kept telling himself that, then he would believe it. Sam needed him and he was going to be there for him.

"Bobby are….you almost….done," Sam sounded so broken and Bobby didn't have the heart to tell him that he had five more stitches to go. He knew that Sam shouldn't have hung up with him and was grateful that Cas got to him fast enough. He didn't want him to die like Dean had then he would be nowhere. Speaking of which he wondered what was going on.

"Why did that angel think that by taking Sam's blood he'd set Lucifer free?"

"Blood of a future vessel I believe but it won't work. I gave him some of my grace and it's rendered it useless," Cas was still watching Sam and how he winced and cried and even sometimes whimpered at the pain but there was nothing that could be done. If he fell asleep chances were that he'd never wake up was still too high. Those angels were cruel and they were nothing but the best at the torture they delivered.

"Why the hell would they need Sam though unless," Bobby paused, mentally counting down until the pain for Sam would be over. He got in two already so there was just three more to go. He saw that Cas seemed worried about how he was doing it though and kept himself from telling him to shove it. Sam was this way because some angels couldn't watch him right and Sam had the sudden idea to go away to keep it safe for all of them. Now it was Sam's blood on his carpet and Sam underneath him quivering in pain. He didn't like it one bit.

"I'm okay Bobby," Sam managed. Bobby softened and nodded, hoping that he could finish and started on the last one knowing this one was going to be the hardest.

"I'm sorry Sam but the edges are torn. I'm going to have to clean it-" He knew it would hurt and on contact with the liquid solution to prevent infection, Sam screamed once again. Gabriel tightened his hold on his legs and Balthazar did the same with his torso. Cas just hugged Sam closer to him and kissed him on the face, trying to make him feel better. Sam was crying and it was all Cas's fault for not thinking at all.

"It's almost over Sam and then you could lay back," Cas told him reassuringly kissing his eyebrows, then his nose, and then finally his soft lips. Sam moaned in pain allowing Cas to kiss him and more happier than he was.

"It hurt," he mumbled and Cas nodded smoothing back his bangs.

Bobby was finished with the last one when he noticed that Sam had fallen asleep grabbing onto Cas's sleeves. He sighed and stood up feeling like he lost a few years just by putting the younger Winchester through this. Still it had to be done and if someone had to do it, he was happy it was him and not someone who had no idea what they were doing.

"We'll leave him asleep and check on him every hour. It's gonna be a long night-"

"I'll do it Bobby," Cas told him. "I was not kidding when I said I loved him and I will do whatever it takes to make him feel better. I'll watch over him."

Bobby didn't like the sound of that but sighed realizing that it would help him get the rest he needed as well. He finally nodded.

"Look out for the thing becoming red and inflamed. If he gets a fever and I don't mean a simple one hundred fever but one hundred and two then come get me. I need to know when and if he gets an infection."

Cas nodded.

It really wasn't a good idea but who was Bobby to tell him so. He could tell that they had developed such a complex bond already.

And he wasn't going to take that away.


End file.
